Margot June's birth story | a gentle scheduled cesarean section
It’s more than an honour being able to share this story of my beautiful friend, Zoë, as she gave birth to her second daughter, Margo June. I think a birth story is so personal and the journey a mother goes on to meet their child is something so unique for each mother. I asked her to share from her own point of view, experience and thoughts around the birth, especially with planning to have a scheduled gentle cesarean section.
This graceful mama tells her story with such heart and a deep understanding of herself and her journey as a mother. She is one of the most nurturing, loving and beautiful souls I know. Watching the way she loves and cares for those she loves is one of the most heartwarming things to witness.
It was an honour to be there to tell their story, and with that, here is Zoë to share the birth of Margot June.
“When I initially found myself facing the decision of how to bring my second daughter into the world, it felt fraught and filled with anxiety. The birth of my first daughter (which I had always hoped would be a home birth) ended in a terrifying emergency Cesarean Section under general anesthesia due to cord prolapse. It was an incredibly traumatic experience that took many months to recover from both physically and emotionally. In my second pregnancy it felt hard to know what the best birth choice would be - did I want to attempt a VBAC or schedule a Repeat C-Section? On the one hand, part of me still felt drawn towards the vaginal delivery I had once hoped for, and also felt pulled into a narrative about birth that told me that a vaginal birth was what I should want. On the other hand I had seen with my first birth that sometimes serious complications (including very rare ones) do indeed happen despite all our best efforts and plans, and having been through that once before I felt especially risk averse.
It took a lot of self-reflection, thinking, talking, and some more thinking, but eventually I was able to narrow in on what felt most important to me and what my priorities were for this second birth. What I came to was this: I wanted to be conscious for the birth of my baby, I wanted my baby to be born as safely as possible, I wanted the birth to feel as calm as possible, and I wanted to hold my baby skin-to-skin as soon as she was born.
I am so grateful that I had the support of wonderful Midwives and an absolutely amazing Obstetrician at McMaster Hospital who fully supported me in whichever way I chose to give birth. My OB told me he would help to make either option as positive for me as it could be. Ultimately I decided that what would give me the best chance of having the calm, safe, and non-traumatic birth I wanted was to schedule a repeat C-Section. If you had asked me before the birth of my first daughter if that was a choice I would ever make I would have said absolutely not. It saddens me now to say that at the time I believed that a "Natural" (vaginal) delivery was always preferable unless it was a matter of absolute life and death. But through experience I learned that birth is so much more complex and personal than that. What a powerful learning experience!
The day of Margot's birth could not have been more different than the birth of my first daughter Esmé. It was peaceful, beautifully slow, and incredibly joyful. The scheduled birth time ended up getting pushed back by many hours due to emergencies needing the OR. The staff apologized to me for the wait, and while I was ready to meet my baby and definitely getting very hungry, all I could think was how grateful I was that for me, on this day, there was absolutely no rush, no urgency, no panic, no fear.
When we finally got into the OR the mood was calm and happy. Everyone was so kind. They gave me the option to listen to my own music but I prefered the silence and the voices of the Doctors, my Midwives and my Partner Aaron who was right beside me. They talked me through the whole thing, and I felt the pressure of my baby emerging from my body. Because I had been under a GA for my first C-Section, it felt so magical to me -- I could feel my baby being born! They immediately passed her under the drape and right into my arms where I got to smell that brand new baby smell, and marvel at her blonde hair and long toes!
I went through some fertility challenges trying to conceive Esmé, and I remember sitting week-after-week in an armchair at an acupuncture clinic, in the waiting room at the fertility clinic, on the bathroom floor waiting for tests to develop...and I would close my eyes and imagine that moment -- the moment they pulled my baby from me and put her on my chest. What would she smell like? What would she look like? How joyful would I feel after waiting so long and praying so hard for her? Unfortunately when Esmé was born, that moment didn't happen as I'd imagined. Instead I was unconscious and it wasn't until over two hours later that I finally saw her through blurry eyes.
The grief of my first birth experience wasn't changed or healed by my second. Each experience is it's own unique part of my story, and I value having been through both of them. But gosh am I grateful that I was able to have that moment with one of my babies -- to be the first to hold her wet, fresh little body skin-to-skin, to witness the miracle of seeing her come from within me out into the world. My gentle scheduled Cesarean Section gave me that, and I am so very grateful.
I am also so grateful to Scarlet for capturing the magic of that day! She put her life on hold and trekked all the way from Toronto to Hamilton, and when we were told she likely wouldn't be able to be in the OR for the birth she charmed every single one of the staff into letting her join us. These photos speak for themselves!
C-sections can be such a magical way of meeting your baby and I really hope we're moving towards gentle, family-centred C-sections that prioritize mental health and parent-baby attachment becoming the norm!”
- Zoë
